the royal wedding

Check out my royal wedding post on the Domestic Goddess's blog here.

and the wedding of the year award goes to....

Sam and I have just returned from spending almost two weeks in Koh Samui, Thailand to celebrate my sweet friend Emily's wedding. It was such a great celebration, as weddings always are when you know that the happy couple were made for each other. We had a blast making new friends, drinking jackie Chang (beer), soaking up the sun, wandering around the island and attending the wedding of the year. Coming home we had that post trip depression let down that often happens after you know you've just returned from one of the best trips of your life. **Sigh** But the beauty of it is that we made some awesome new friends and have 800 fantastic pictures to bring back the memories year after year:)

We watched the sun rise on Koh Samui Monday morning when we left, and as we drove toward Somerset on the M3 we watched the sun set that same day--20 hours later.

Some photographic highlights of the trip:

we went to Wells today

Going to Wells gave me the exciting opportunity to use Paint to make the amazing map below, I haven't used Paint since I was 10, it's great fun, I'm bringing it back. Anyway, Wells is located in Somerset (only about an hour or so from us) and is the smallest city in England with a population of 10,000, and has city status only because it has a cathedral. The cathedral was built between 1175 and 1490 but the original church was established on that site in 705. The West Front contains one of the largest galleries of medieval sculpture in the world. It is beautiful. Wells is tiny but has the feel of a city. We had fun walking around the city center and taking pictures of small doors.

On the way to Wells we went through a really nice little village called Langport, there's nothing really worth going there for but it was cute, as all villages are to be honest. We also drove through a village called Compton Dundun which is just a ridiculous name and fun to say over and over again which of course we did the rest of the way to Wells. In Compton Dundun we saw a little old man hosing down his driveway and a girl with very drastically parted hair wearing leggings sitting on the wall near a bus station. So that pretty much tells you how exciting of a place it is.

Here I am standing in a miniature doorway. I love these doors, we took 7 pictures just like this today.

Here is the tomb of someone, I'm sorry to say I didn't take note of the name. But this reminded me of Lord of the Rings--the scene where Aragorn is dead and Arwen, who of course is immortal, weeps as his tomb forevermore. It also reminds me of Harry Potter when Dumbledore dies.

This is a picture of Vicars Close which is claimed to be the oldest purely residential street with its buildings intact in all of Europe. And people actually live in these houses, I know because I saw some weird Pokemon toys out in one of the gardens. It was originally built for Bishop Ralph of Shrewsbury and I believe that people associated with the church used to live there such as priests and the Vicars Choral.


I've written some really wordy posts recently so I hope this eye candy makes up for it.

10 Things I Love About England

I realize I give England a hard time sometimes, I tease it a bit about some of its strange "attributes". What can I say? Cynicism about a place is one of the most common side effects of homesickness. When I’m feeling insecure and a little freaked it helps me feel better when I say things like “What the bleep is this deal with bank tellers trying to sell me mobile phone insurance every time I go into the bank to pay my credit card bill? And why the bleep can’t they SORT MY ACCOUNT OUT SO I CAN BLEEPING PAY MY CREDIT CARD BILL ONLINE??????” See, it’s a way for me to shift the focus of misery off of myself and onto some silly blond girl with 6 brain cells. I know it’s not fair, I know it’s wrong. But anyone who has lived abroad for any extended period of time will tell you this is completely normal mental behaviour. The truth is that I’d probably get annoyed with a bank teller anywhere in the world, this is not something special or unique about England. Another truth is that England really isn’t so bad at all, in fact, I love England, I’m still a little giddy that I get to live here. So since I’m feeling particularly generous on this Friday morning I’m going to make a little top ten shout out list (in no particular order) to those wonderful things that makes England the magnificently beautiful place that it is…

1. Pubs. Hands down the best part about England. Where you will feel and experience the essence of British life through chatting with the locals, taking in the atmosphere, drinking a pint of glorious beer by a hot crackling wood fire, trading gossip with the barman, and enjoying the company of good people

2. English People. What’s most remarkable about the English people I know is that their greatest resource is their own character. Their historical record of endurance and perseverance regardless of the circumstances or consequences has set them apart as a race that exudes a rare kind of permanence. Not a grim or stoic kind but one based on justice and a sense of fair play and tempered with cheerful, joyful and often creative confidence. Such people known intimately make great friends (and spouses:)).

3. The Scenery. Hello, I still get tears in my eyes sometimes just driving through our village. How can such spectacular places exist, and how did I get so lucky to get to live in one??

4. The Soaps. English television can be so shockingly bad that it is actually deliciously good. I don’t know how that’s even possible but it is; watch one episode of Eastenders and you’ll understand. I’m not even ashamed to admit that I haven’t missed an episode since I moved here. Seriously, that’s not an exaggeration. And we didn’t even have a tv until 2 months ago, so I often had to go to great lengths to catch up on the happenings in Albert Square.

5. No ATM fees. I know it’s a small thing, but I really appreciate that I can use any bank’s ATM machine to get cash out and not have to pay a fee. It makes me want to get money out more often and spend it just because it seems free. Hmm, I think I might have just unlocked one of the secrets of English consumerism.

6. Holidays. I get 20 personal days off per year (I get two more next year :)), 8 public holidays, 5 paid sick days (cough cough, what? How did I get to Mallorca? I’m joking!!) and because of the remarkably relaxed work ethic in these parts I get a few half days and full days off from time to time just because. Which is why such terms as POETS day exist--which means Piss Off Early Tomorrow’s Saturday, and at my office we like to abide by that rule pretty much every day. Also, I only work 37.5 hours per week, and by work I mean appear to work. Just kidding. Really, I do work. Sometimes. So lets see, that’s like roughly 35 days off per year. Give or take. Oh yeah, and this year we get an extra day off for the Royal wedding, HOLLER!!

7. Maternity Leave. Woah woah woah, hold your horses. Mom, put the babies r us catalog down. I’m not saying this is something I’ll necessarily benefit from, but if I do happen to be fortunate enough (read: crazy enough) to have babies here I will get a year of maternity leave and will get paid for 9 of those months. Per baby. So I’m thinking how about I have 10 babies in a row and then by the time that’s over it’ll be just about time for me to retire. I know this logic probably appears to be flawed, but with a good team of nannies anything is possible.

8. Pasties, crumpets, parsnips and rhubarb. The best additions to my diet since moving here.

9. History and culture. Each and every place, from the smallest village to the biggest city has some connection to an important historical event, or has the oldest church pew or a pub where a famous outlaw was shot or a hill where a king stopped to do a wee while taking in the view. You can’t walk 10 feet in any direction without seeing something old and significant as far as history is concerned. Which is why England is such a good place for day tripping, you don’t even have to have a destination in mind, just get in the car with a few snacks and drive and wherever you stop you’ll be glad you did.

10. The buildings. I’ve mentioned how our house has oodles of character, as do pretty much all houses in this country. I love love love gazing at the houses and buildings in England, from the crooked little thatched cottages to the mile long rows of terraced houses. I can’t even begin to describe my obsession with chimney pots and wooden beams. Creaky wooden floors? Mmmm! Wee little Hobbit sized doors with a knob in the middle? Yes! Tiny iron gates that open into delightfully colourful patio gardens? YES PLEASE!! Crooked walls? Asymmetrical rooms? Leaded windows with 17th century ironmongery? Stop! It’s too much!

So there you have it people, my top ten list of English loves. But wait, there’s more! I didn’t even mention cream teas, Exmoor Gold, the public right of way system, the national parks, castles, our proximity to the coast, British Airways or English accents. The wonderful things about England are so much greater than annoying bank tellers or the lack of public restrooms. It is a place that inspires and delights, it is rich and lovely and good, and by remembering these things I’m able to stave off homesickness when it occasionally strikes. I love it here.

Life in the UK: Heaven or Hell?

Among the many happy things about living in England, along with getting a settlement visa, learning to drive, and passing a driving test, in the next few months I also have the great privilege of taking the British Citizenship Test, also known as the Life in the UK Test. Let me just tell you a little bit about this examination. There is a study guide that you can purchase in order to have an idea what questions to expect, the actual test is comprised of 24 questions and must be completed within 45 minutes, you must make an appointment to take it at least 7 days in advance at one of the official testing centers, it costs roughly £34 to take, and once you pass it you then may apply to stay in the country. The test is in English and is done on a computer, so if you don't speak English then sorry, you have to pass a language course to prove that you have learned English before you can take it. All that to say, once you pass the citizenship test you don't even become a citizen. No no no, that's like 5 more years and about as many thousand pounds down the line. And that's probably why so many people just come here illegally and live happily ever after. Anyway, here is a short blurb from the official testing website:

Becoming a British citizen or deciding to settle permanently in this country is an important event in your life. If you are applying for naturalisation as a British citizen or for indefinite leave to remain, you will need to show that you know about life in the UK.

I have underlined the most curious part of that phrase. It's curious because here is a brief sampling of questions on the test:

-How many parliamentary constituencies are there in the UK?

-In which year did women get the right to divorce their husbands?

-In which two places does the European parliament meet?

-What is the number of young people in the UK aged 19 and younger?

-What is the percentage of peoplein the UK who claim to be Muslim?

-How soon is the information from a public census available for public search?

-How many hours per week are children aged 13-16 allowed to work?

-Where is the Scouse dialect spoken?

-Where does Father Christmas come from?

That's right, you probably thought I put that one about Santa Claus in there as a joke, but it is, in fact, one of the 2,000 possible questions you might be asked to show that you know about life in the UK on the 2011 version of the test. What Santa Clause (who last I heard is not even real, what?) has to do with a person's immigration status is completely beyond my comprehension--maybe I don't know as much about life in the UK as I thought I did. Some people might argue that knowing the answers to the above questions would have absolutely no affect whatsoever on my ability to participate fully in this society, and I have to say that I would agree with those people 100%. It makes no sense.

So I've decided to design my very own test, it consists of a few requirements and a few questions. It's a much simpler streamlined version which I think the Queen and also the Home Office should consider using in place of the Citizenship one. Below are a few examples of things a person immigrating to the UK might need to know.

Requirements:

-Can you make and drink milky tea?

-If you are under 25 can you drive at over 75 mph on a one lane road? If you are over 75 can you drive at under 25 mph on a six lane road?

-Can you describe what a combine harvester looks like?


Questions:

-What beverage is consumed more per capita, ale or water? (Ale)

-How far over should 16 year old girls part their hair to one side? (1" above ear)

-What is the nationally recognized proper outfit to wear on a day out in town? (grey tracksuit)

-What type of shoes have laces, are commonly paired with the above outfit and are not associated with any sort of physical activty? (white trainers)

-When is the appropriate time of day to drink a cup of tea? (upon waking up, getting to work, mid-morning, late morning, lunch time, mid afternoon, late afternoon, upon arriving home from work and before bed, and any other time that you come inside from being outside)

-What is football? (Soccer)

-What topic is talked about more, the weather or politics? (the weather)

-If you're in a pub and you order a bowl of chips what are you going to get? (Fries)

-How long does it take your towel to dry after showering and hanging it on the back of the bathroom door? (5-8 days)

-How many different types of rainy days are there? (as many as you are capable of complaining about)

-Which British program is widely considered to cover the most important of life topics, EastEnders or Prime Ministers Questions? (EastEnders)


So there you have it. My version of the Life in the UK test much more appropriately reflects daily life in the UK and is actually based on relevant topics that are reasonably important to know. The official test is more like a boring game of trivial pursuit. For the record, I don't know any of the answers to the first set of questions, obviously. I've been living here for a year and a half without even knowing how many children or muslims there are in this country--insanity!! How have I survived? The only one I do know for sure is the Father Christmas one, which is definitely the North Pole... or is it...

coffee table

A few months ago we got fed up with our boring coffee table which was a cheapo fake wood temporary fix that we bought soon after moving in so we'd have something to eat off of. We looked around at lots of options such as some nice rustic farmhouse style tables, storage ottomans and even thought about making our own from scratch, but in the end we went for the upholstery option. By following this tutorial we turned our bad looking coffee table into something that we're proud of. All we did was paint it white, drill some holes and secure the foam, batting and fabric with a heck of a lot of staples. Getting the buttons through was probably the hardest part because the table top is made from two pieces of wood and is hollow in the middle, making it a bit tricky to get a needle through both holes, but it really wasn't that bad at all. It's firm enough to set your coffee on and soft enough to rest your feet. Sadly, I don't have a good before pic of it, probably because it was something I avoided with my lens as well as my eyes. This was seriously the easiest makeover project, and took us two evenings after work to complete. I like the fact that we can easily switch the fabric and buttons if we ever want a change.

Today

This is what our house looks like today, isn't it cute? We have had more record breaking snowfall here in South West England, which is great for enjoying cozy days snowed in by the fire. We just hope that Mother Nature sorts herself out by Wednesday so we can drive up to London for our flight to Houston on Thursday. It looks like we should be okay, but it's a bit concerning for the obvious reason that if I don't get Mexican food soon I'll most likely wither away and perish. But since there's nothing we can do about it and since I can't get into work today and since we have plenty of sloe gin in the house, Sam and I are going to enjoy the snow day. We will probably also spend the day helping people get their cars unstuck outside our house which is what Sam is going right now...

P.S. This is my 100th post.

mi cocina

For those of you who don't know, mi cocina means my kitchen in Spanish. It's also the name of one of the best Mexican food places in College Station, Texas, and I wish I hadn't even thought of that because I'm starving right now. I'll probably feel grouchy for the rest of the day.

Anyway, I realized that I never posted pictures of the kitchen after it turned red. The redness of the kitchen came about back when Sam and I were in our local home improvement store buying supplies for our banish-the-wallpaper project which I believe took place during most of May of this year. We were choosing paint for the hallway and I really wanted a nice shade of light sage-y green to spice things up and Sam wanted white because that's the colo[u]r walls should be. Toward the end of this discussion, when I realized I was most likely defeated, I defiantly said something like , "Fine, but this just means I'm going to paint the kitchen red," which in my mind was a bit of a crazy thing to suggest--so crazy that it would convince Sam to let me have my way with the sage-y green hallway. To my surprise he said something like, "That's a great idea, I think that would look really good." And that is how we found ourselves painting the kitchen red before we had even finished the hallway. When I put the first coat up I had my doubts, it's a deeply saturated red--think blood. But we have light coming from three directions in that room so it's actually quite bright and cheery in there, and I apologize that these photos really don't do it much justice.

I really like our kitchen (in spite of the shocking back splash tiles which I haven't saved up enough money to replace yet) because we have lovely solid wood cabinets which must have been pricey (thank you very much previous owners) and because it's huge compared to most kitchens you find in England--especially cottages of this size. We have tons of storage space, and I like being able to have our table in there. If only our bathroom would take a hint from this space and not be such a dire, wretched little hole. But I digress.

Please also note our new refrigerator, complete with a freezer, which we lived without for over a year. Can you even believe that? Although it was probably good for my waist line, now we have no excuse not to buy ice cream.

And just in case you forgot what it used to look like, here it is in Magnolia.

I kind of like it this way too. Uh oh. Oh well, I always knew I'd probably paint it a different color some day. I'm crazy like that, I like change and I like it often. Anyway, the white/natural look is in these days, which I think would really emphasize our lovely cabinets. But first I think we'll banish that linoleum...

I also have big plans for that table and those chairs.

a heartbreakingly beautiful walk

The day after Thanksgiving (which is celebrated on the Saturday after by our family here) we went for a nice long walk to try and burn off some of that pie. And because it happened to snow and it was too beautiful to miss. I couldn't take enough pictures. I am thankful I get to live here and have walks like this in my back yard.

the £6 couch makeover that took 8 months

Way back in March I posted this post with the picture below as a preview of a project I had started.
It all began with the picture below. This picture is of our first meal in our house the day after we moved in. Please note the sofa, it is approximately 20 years old and had belonged to Sam's parents, then later his sister who gave it to us when they were remodeling their house which was conveniently around the time we were getting married and moving into ours. It's a massive comfy couch, the only problem was that it was absolutely ______ fill in the blank. I can't say the words I truly feel because I don't want to offend anyone.

BEFORE

AFTER

And by after I mean 8 months after I started I finally finished. What happened was we were in Ikea looking at duvet covers and blankets and saw some huge cotton "throws" and I realized they would be the perfect material to cover the couch. And at £2 per throw it was a bargain. We got three and it was more than enough material. So when we got home that night I began the process of covering the cushions and scratching my head as to what to do with the rest of it. After a couple of days I had all the pieces cut and most of it sewn together but just never made the finishing touches of hemming the sides or securing the front "flap" if you will. Unfortunately I can't explain how I did it because there was no method or pattern, I just pinned the fabric over the couch and then took it off and sewed it. I had to put it on and take it off to adjust it quite a bit, and just kind of worked little by little until it fit. It's basically just a slip cover.